So, we are broke. Totally broke. Don't ask me why; it's a long story and I don't want pity so I shan't recount it. I just wanted to reflect on the situation, and draw some positives from it.
I used to work full time as a teacher. I had lots of disposable cash. My child wore clothes from Gap and Next and we had nice holidays and nice things. BUT, he spent his days with a childminder and was fairly miserable to say the least. I, meanwhile, was consumed by guilt. If I kept on working my child was suffering; if I gave up work it was a waste of everything I'd achieved in terms of my education and escape from council estate poverty. In the end work broke me and, pregnant with baby number two, I gave up my job and stayed home.
And here I am now, home educating three boys and having less money than I've ever had in my whole life. But, in between the bouts of horror about paying bills and eeking out our food budget, I am also happier than I've ever been before. It's quite freeing to live outside of our consumer society; to not have the option of shopping in mainstream outlets. It's incredibly freeing to have a menu plan for each week and know what I'm cooking each day. But most of all, I know that all the 'stuff' I could have if I were a working mom is just temporal garbage which would end up on a landfill site some time in the future. My children, on the other hand, have eternal souls which will live with God forever. This said, how much better to spend my time and effort in helping them to grow in education, character and faith, than spending my time and money in the local shopping centre. I really do believe that what Satan means for our downfall can be used by God for our ultimate good, just like in the Old Testament story of Joseph, and also according to Romans 8:28:
King James BibleAnd we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
I can honestly say that we've had some pretty awful times on the way to where we are now. Times I would have done anything to avoid if I'd had foreknowledge of them. I didn't want to be who I am now; I wanted to be the woman who had everything; a supermum; glamorous, capable, wealthy, envied by all. But God had other ideas, and boy am I grateful that he did. When I look back at who I was then I am pretty horrified. Don't get me wrong. I am sooooooooooooo not the person he ultimately wants me to be; I still have a considerable way to go,... but, I am trying to walk with him and be guided by him in my daily life. I am sure that there will be tough times ahead but I also know that God will use them to mould and shape me for his purpose, and that his overall plan for me is a good one.
Praise Him.
Jo x
3 comments:
Oh, Jo.
I was there, a few years ago, and looking back, as I do nearly all the time, so happy.
Now I am not there. And I am not happy either.
Bless you, lovely.
We are in the same place Jo. No disposable income, in fact, no job as DH was made redundant through a back injury and I am on maternity leave. But when we ignore the worries about money and concentrate on love, life, health, family, then life is good, far better than it ever was.
And who needs stuff? As long as we have a roof over our heads, food in our tummy, clothes on our back and the enjoyment of each other then all the rest is unnecessary and false happiness.
Blessings to you all.
xx
((((hugs)))) we've got a lot lot less money than a year ago. I was very happy and content until today I stupidly went to the Trafford Centre - never a good move, better not to be tempted!
It is very freeing to know you just *can't* have stuff actually, a lot more peaceful.
All that bothers me is I'd like to take the children back to France (the older three have been once) along with a few more trips away nearer home, I keep hoping God will miraculously provide. Also I'd like to buy less stuff from supermarkets, it's hard not to when stuff like pasta and cereal (even clothes) are so much cheaper.
'Stuff' is just enslaving anyway. It was a nightmare trying to move house. We got rid of about 2/3 of what we own, miss none of it whatsoever, find it easier to keep our new house clean and tidy, and its just so much better! we were at the Trafford centre to buy birthday presents for dd2, ended up getting a couple of teeny weeny things then a nice bag to keep stuff in to further tidy up!
No idea what the future holds, we can't save vast sums like we're all supposed to. But God has never failed us yet, ever. Plus no matter what happens at least on my death bed I won't have regrets about spending time with my children when they were growing up - I'd imagine that must be one of the very worst things to regret. I have more time to work on my marriage too which has to be beneficial. Yes being broke can put a strain on marriages but in my humble opinion no more than ahving lots of money and trying to decide how to spend it for other people! Plus my husband usually gets his tea put in front of him when he gets home from work and doesn't have to worry about the washing - old fashioned maybe but has to take stress away! (wasn't always like that when my babies were as little as yours I hasten to add!!)
Much love and prayers,
Hazel xx
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